Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
