..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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