I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
