I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
