Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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