Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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