Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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