how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
