I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
