You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
