She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
