im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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