I don't think brook has ever known best
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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