if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just googled if crying burns calories
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
