um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My penis needs a shock collar
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize