if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
