she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
