I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
