If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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