We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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