I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
MIDGETS
????
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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