proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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