who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
