if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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