Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
