she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
