You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize