You smell like a Billy Joel song
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
