he shaved USA in his pubs
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
