Plan B is the new Plan A
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
