I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
