Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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