So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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