He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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