Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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