38 yer olds are good kisserssss
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
