Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
