We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
