we're chasing vodka with high fives
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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