would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
