every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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