Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
