I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize