They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
