I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize