when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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