her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
