Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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