Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
