Swine flu. Run for my life!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
