im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
