Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
the room spins SO much faster in panama
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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