Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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