She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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