she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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