Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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