wanna go halves on a baby?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
