I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
