I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
