I got chris browned last night
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
