I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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