I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she told me i tasted like america
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
