dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He did a backflip because drugs
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