dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
