he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I CAN MOONWALK!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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