So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
